When I was a kid, I often heard the words, "You are being unreasonable!" which meant I was being ludicrous, uncooperative and stubborn.  I grew up with that context and meaning of unreasonable. Furthermore, I used to be about my reasons by telling myself that everything else more important than I am.

Now that I have come to know myself better, the definition of that word has a whole new meaning.  To me, unreasonable means being bigger than my reasons, unstoppable and beyond justifications.

I am unreasonable therefore I am a good leader.  I am a model of human potential leading with cooperation, courage and determination ~ naturally inspiring others to realize their own greatness. Without reasons, I easily own my greatness and vision arising to a stronger sense of confidence and freedom within.  From that platform, I am released from the victimized attitude of potential obstacles.

My fear, worry and concern are back stage and my sense of possibility is down and center stage.  I have more confidence in fully expressing who I am even in the face of potential ridicule.  This in turn inspires the audience to do the same, thus joyfully following me.  Being unreasonable means my stakes are high, therefore I require all the support available to me.  I have now set myself up for success rather than failure.  I move on that stage of life like a ballerina, grounded and flowing, connecting moment to moment rather than worrying about the "What If" of the choreography.  I look around me up stage, stage left and then right and see the cast of fellow leaders surround me, pushing me unfailingly to stretch out of my comfort zone.

Me with Me: Page 25, Chapter 2

I relinquish particular words from my vocabulary: should, because, but, supposed to, can, can't, unable, able, makes me, don't, against, need, try, sorry, want, right, wrong.  I speak in present tense and first person. I use realities instead of hypothetical's: "I am" versus "What if."

Me with Me: Page 65, Chapter 3

Intentions are a good friend for making wise choices. Reasons can be ghastly when used to justify not living in my essence or not taking ownership of a situation. Reasons are not the same as intention or purpose.  I grew up with reasons all around me, and I certainly had my fair share of being about them. It's like a domino effect: I am about my reasons and then so are you. I get to be right about my reasons and not take notice of how I'm impeding what is most important to me. My relationships soon enable staying small. Now, I am mindful in those moments where I want to be about my reasons:

• Is it my intuition?
• Am I afraid?
• Am I avoiding?
• Am I tired?
• Am I too busy to take a break and be social?
• Is it the default of "I should" or "What if?"
• Am I living in the "why" and never moving forward until I get the answer to the reason why?

When I live in my "why," I am floating in the "why" pool and swimming up a "why" stream, arising to the stagnation of life. I get to be safe and unaccountable, remain unmotivated, and wonder why my life is not working in the way I want it. Then I give more reasons for that. When a child asks "Why?" that child is looking to understand the parent's choice within that request or command. When the parent consistently gives the child reasons,the child gets used to justifying his own behavior, thus living in the "why"instead of accepting what is or discovering the answer on his own. A successful technique is to ask a question followed by a compliment or encouragement.  For example, "You're a smart kid. What do you think? "

On a slightly different angle, there's the automated reason used when answering a question or receiving a comment. For example:

Joe: "Did you read my newsletter?"

Kathy: "No. I've got hundreds of e-mails to read and I've been working a lot this last week."

If Kathy were being bigger than her reasons, her answer would look like,

"No, no yet," and then leave it at that. She assumed the position of being apologetic when Joe was simply asking her a question and most likely was looking to engage in conversation.

I work with a lovely young actor who has developed her awareness in the "reasons" department. As a result, one late evening, her friend invited her to go out to a particular bar to see some friends. My client at first was all about the reasons not to go (she was tired; it was late; she didn't have make-up on).  As her friend said, "C'mon, just one hour and then we'll leave," she remembered that she had options and that this was an opportunity to meet new people. She was actually approached by a guy who claimed he was a producer who was starting to film a feature that next month, and that she'd be great for the supporting role. My client, based on her past experiences, rudely shrugged it off as just another pick-up line, again being about her reasons.  She then stepped into being bigger than her reasons, said "yes" to auditioning, and booked the job as the supporting actor!